I am currently reading a book by Watchman Nee called The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit. In this book Nee provides a clear picture of the need for the breaking of the outer man so that the life of Christ in our spirit can flow out as rivers of living water to refresh and build up the people of God. Nee explains that our greatest needs are a mind in need of renewing, a will in need of submission to God, and an emotion in need of stability.
The following passage struck me in the gut like a flaming sword of truth! -
….the discipline we receive from the Holy Spirit is proportional to our spiritual sense. The more breaking we receive, the more our spirit will be released. In whatever matter we experience the breaking, our spirit will be released in that matter. This is a spiritual fact; it can never be artificially engineered. If we have it, we have it. If we do not have it, we do not have it. This is the reason we must accept the discipline and breaking of the Holy Spirit. Those who have much experience will be able to render much service. Only those who have gone through much breaking will acquire much feeling. Only those who suffer much loss will have much to give others. If we try to save ourselves in a certain matter, we will lose our spiritual usefulness in that matter. If we try to protect or excuse ourselves in a certain matter, we will lose our spiritual sense and supply in that matter. This is a very basic principle.
Only those who have learned their lessons can participate in the service. A man can learn the lessons of ten years in one year, or he can drag out the lessons of one year for twenty or thirty years. If a man delays his learning, he delays his service. If God has given us a heart to serve Him, we must be clear about our way. The way of our service is the way of breaking; it is a way aquired through the discipline of the Holy Spirit.
This explained so much of my life stuggles to me. To know that God was preparing me for His service allows me to truly sing Psalm 119:71 & 75 It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes….I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
I pray to be one who accepts the loving discipline of God in my life and that I would learn 10 years of lessons in 1!
I’m afraid I’m one of those who takes 20 years to learn a 1 year lesson. Oh that I’d quit resisting, fleeing, breaking out & freaking out. That I may settle myself and trust Him completely. Will I ever, ever learn? Will I ever be done with this foolish pride & self-sufficiency? How can I serve him when I can barely get through a day without breaking out? I feel like a stupid horse who simply cannot figure out what his master means. Guide my steps Lord, don’t give up on me. I have a desire to please Him but my understanding is limited. Maybe I’m just stupid. Oh that I would trust Him completely.